More of What?

18 hours a day are no more enough

You wish you had twenty eight.

Two hands seem like a limitation.

 

For consecutive years of growth

And comfort beyond your 22 year old dreams

At 40 is a mere stepping stone 

To bigger things

 

More?

Of the same?

That could take care of 15 of you and never needs to?

 

Or of time?

And of sane lives and happy faces around you.

That you might have not caused, but did not disrupt either?

 

Of little important things

That make your live your debt to the future a little

Not just in preparation of securing it against unknown yet terrible fears?

 

Of unimportant meetings

Of unproductive investments into unfocused relationships with random people

That in the end count not because they work out for you

But because they happened.

 

Maybe you have a meaning, or a purpose

Maybe you don't

 

But just the chasing of 

The next adjective, noun that starts to own you and the meaning

Because it appreared on the horizon

And took complete control of you

 

Is that it?

Desirable?

More pucca/concrete houses

More trinkets, trifles, gadgets changed more often?

More people flying?

More energy?

More people living longer and longer?

More productivity and efficiency?

More money and more again?

 

Are these as black/white as they seem on the surface?

What Happens Then?

Slow and steady

or perhaps

Fast and nimble

Laser sharp focused

Disciplined, efficient

 

What is this finish line you're trying to get to?

What happens once you get there?

 

Priorities

A pal of mine in a very senior position recently decided that work was sucking too much out of him, and decided to (at least) take a sabbatical and spent time with the family. He put in his papers last week.

 

Guess what the reaction of his boss - the guy who heads the company was?

 

1. Instill fear - "How will you manage your cashflows after a couple of months?"
2. I don't know how to put this - "You can at most spend 5-10 minutes with the family. What'll you do for the rest of the day?"

 

Questions about one's own health, interests, growth as a human being etc never entered the conversation.

 

My friend works at a staffing/outsourced HR outfit. And his boss used to head HR at an MNC earlier!!

 

There is a lot of sickness in what we call our "workplace". Its certainly not a healthy place anymore. There's too much money, too much greed, and too much emphasis on grabbing more and fear of not being able to.

 

Thankfully, the conversation hammered home this truth in my friend's head. "The whole 'quality time' crap is a corporate invention, Sameer", he says. "Bulls**t, you just need to spend time - yes - quantity - with your family, near and dear ones, friends."

 

True. Which do we do for which?

Encounters

The few times I've come across death.

Or the idea of it.

Its been about numbness.

Futility.

Randomness.

And sometimes a feeling of being totally helpless.

All the control, cause and effect, effort-reward,

Seems fake. False.

Everything is not as it seems.

Priorities get seriously relooked at.

The celebrated seems puerile.

Goals, dreams, fears all in the realm of the inane.

Unreasonable.

Life becomes about moments.

Lived, loved, smiled.

Lost, fought, regretted.

But each important.

What am I chasing ? And why ?

The journey is not important. It is all.

For it can end. Cruelly. Randomly.

Why Do I Do What I Do ?

[ Warning/Disclaimer: This post is an exercise in self-analysis/narcissism, depending on how you look at it. It if helps clear someone's thought, great.]

I'm dabbling in multiple interests right now. 

Linger kicked off the experimentation with hospitality - and there might be more happening soon. I'm enjoying the experience - there's a lot of product management, online marketing, brand building involved and the smiles on people's faces when they experience a good thing is a huge reward.

The consulting on Product Strategy and Execution continues at its own pace, with a lot of interesting conversations, numerous interesting problems to solve. There's been some good outcomes already, and the learning is very fulfilling. 

Then there's the non-career interests that keep life's spark going. There's already a serious enough effort that goes into managing one's finances and running the household amidst all this.

Most of the above are either non-remunerative, or not paying too much right now :) And it goes against the common wisdom of being focused, doing one thing with no distractions etc. Is it the right thing to do ? There are regular jobs in great Product companies and teams that are available, and lucrative. So why this ? Its not just a rhetorical question - its also what I ask myself, if just to keep the head clear each time a major offer comes along that I have to say no to!

I've kind of hypothesized that I am happier, more productive, useful and agreeable when I do multiple things. Reflecting upon my past life - its also clear I've always been that way! Its also one reason I loved the whole startup experience though it did not bring monetary rewards of any sort. As an aside, its also become very clear to me that the $$ dream is not something I can ever chase for its own sake.

The current mode of living/working (at least as long as I can sustain it) gives me a lot of freedom to push my own boundaries. I had zilch experience in hospitality, for instance - but that sort of starting point has so far worked in my favour even in the tech jobs I have done. It helps create and interact with an amazing network of people from whom I learn, understand everyday. My skills have gotten a strong real world flavour added on to them. And I am now beginning to question a few beliefs about certain things I has assumed I would never (be able) to do. 

Sure, at some point the focus on one of the multiple activities might sharpen, and the time devoted it it might increase. But as of now, I'm enjoying it all, having fun being able to do it all, and will let one pick me, rather than the other way around.

Posted via email from bangalorekaapi

Aviation Crutches, and Lessons From The Ash

The unpronounceable (by most) place where the unexpected volcanic eruption spews unwelcome volcanic ash is all over the news.

It scared the airlines who didn't want to lose planes, people.

It left people "stranded" all across the world, since so many could not take a flight into/out of Europe.

It lay bare the fragility of businesses that are perpetually on the edge, operationally. Not healthy!

It forced people to take boats, trains, buses, connections. Meet other people.

It generated bookfulls of stories and experiences. So many people lived a little more.

It forced people to think local in terms of food, produce.

It forced a little humility into mankinds sense of control, conceit.

I think we need a 5 day outage every year!

Posted via email from bangalorekaapi

Time. And Money.

For a while now, I've been mentioning to people that for the next raise/job change, they could ask for the hike/ compensation partly in time. After all, we all repeat sooo often that age old adage - time is money - that its time we put some money where our time is :)

(Image Credit)

Here's a good one I read in the context of some very very compelling reasons to take up cycling :

"...why spend loads of time working to pay for the car to get to work to pay for the car"

What you choose to do with that time is then the next question. It could be spent on places you've wanted to go to, books you wanted to read, or relearning how to play the guitar, or even just spending more time with your kids (at least till such time that they tolerate your company :) ) You could finally start executing on those amazing ideas you've had. You could go back to school to acquire some additional skills!

How ? A few hours a day ? An extra day a week ? A few months a year ? Different jobs will suit different plans. And it also depends on what you want to do - you can hardly do that trans-Himalayan-unsupported-trek a few hours a week.

The really really tough one is to have a somewhat clear understanding of your financial situation, and the discipline to arrive at an appropriate tradeoff between Time and Money, the two parts to that whole equation. You'll need to fund the "time-off", plus the thing you want to do during that time. But usually, we can, and just go overboard on the "need more" front. More often than not, we're not too clear on how much of the latter we need/want/can use, and end up overstocking on, at the cost of the former. Its just a way of playing safe.

But safe isn't fun, is it ?

Update:

Right after the post - read this. Slightly unrelated, but appropriate :) Cannot say this has not crossed my mind! Oh, the strength....

Update #2:

Just saw this (recvd thru a tweet). Can't agree more. And for all of those - you need to invest - time!

Be The Change : No longer a Corporate Cog

[ This is the second one I'm doing as part of stories about people who embraced change. ]

Sharath Raju was in a great place in life - bang in the middle of the IT story with a nice juicy salary, a modeling career in parallel and pursuing his love for cycles in parallel.

But then, TFN happened, and Sharath actually quit his job to go on the tour!

Around the same time, cycling started becoming a big thing around Bangalore and along came an interesting opportunity - Decathlon started operations in India and Sharath got in touch to explore if he could work with them. Lower salary to start off with, at least, an uncertain path (its still a small market, really) and surely not the usual climb up the career ladder for folks in IT. But the heart ruled, and the promise of being able to professionally pursue something he really enjoyed was a major draw.

Sharath now works for Decathlon as their Biz Manager. He cycles to work everyday and is also a trekker, rafter, and model!

Sharath speaks about his life altering decision:

What was the change, and how did it come about ?

It was more to do with my psychological self. It had been 3 years into the IT field and life just went on. When i started exploring new fun-filled activities like biking/running daily/weekend, reality used to strike me to re-look into my real interests. While i was deep into the organizing of the TFN event, i woke up one fine day to realise, i am not gonna do this job anymore. I put in my papers, and headed off on the tour! :) .I think i chose to follow my feelings and not what the world has to say.

After i started working on making TFN a success through partners and sponsors, i got in touch with the Decathlon guys to see if they would be interested. Edition '08 didn't receive much support from Decathlon, but the relationship was developed and we were appraising them regularly about the success of the event, and the execution. In Feb '09 i got an enquiry that they were looking for Technicians on their Btwin brand. I decided to apply as i saw that was fairly in line with my interests.

Got a call in March from Prajval, the then Business head for Institutional sales and marketing, to discuss my interests and areas i would like to contribute. And in was on board without much delay in April.

Why ?

Peer pressure, immediate and extended family pressure, my marriage, all played a influential role at different stages. Living a life just to satisfy a imaginary level of ego, restricted my liberty to explore new ways of living life. I had to give that up and was waiting for the right moment.

Impact ? Financially ? Lifestyle ? Etc...

I was 'unemployed' for 3 months, which was like a WHOA? especially when you're amidst close family ties. Yes it was tough, and the pressure psychologically and emotionally was surmounting. But that grind only could make me stronger and look at the long term. Considering i had some outstandings, yes i was wholly dependent on family. I think i've never saved enough money in my life than i did in those 3 months.

Early thoughts ? Others' comments ? Self-doubts ?

Yes, i had a mix of positive energy bursts and emotional breakdowns at the same time. Being in close family/friend circle boosted my level of confidence. I suffered in my mind trying to figure out my real interest in my life. One question that always lingered in my head all through the day was to figure out what gives me most joy in doing and can be profitable as well.

Experiment, or sticking to it ?

I also said to myself, why did i ever leave my job, I could've just stayed on and figured it out on the way. But the best part of this is, unless you're put into this vulnerable position, we're always unwilling to come out of our comfort zone and put ourselves to the test.

Why did u persist ?

Because knew this is the chance to prove myself as an individual, and set an example.

Isn't it scary ?

Very, very scary. I decided to laugh about it, live the good times by catching up with friends. This helped me get away from lonely or diverting feelings. And I even got valuable advice to help chase my dreams. I realised one thing though, 'Time is the healer'.

Biggest benefits ?

Oh, once you believe this is where you belong, the sense of achievement and confidence is unimaginable. It strengthens your humility and respect the simplicity of life.

Why should others do it ? When should they follow something ?

It is better to realize one's interest early to lead a happy and contented life. Because once you grow old, all you have time for is to reflect on the good old days, and wonder if it could have been better. At least i don't want to die an unhappy man!

Tips ? Advice ?

Keep your head up, event at the toughest of times. Because even your strongest belief of being strong would be put to the test, and you will be forced to doubt your capabilities. Contrary to these thoughts, if you fight these emotional swings, one shall come out a winner! Life's only worth living to the fullest!

Sharath's switch was a bold move, especially from where he started on the new path. A lot many folks I know have wanted to make such changes at multiple points, but the decision to dive right in is never easy or certain. The fuzziness, nervousness is always a part of it, as Sharath candidly points out. The important thing is go ahead and make the switch. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And its your dreams and your life at stake!

[ Oh, and now you know whom to ask for when you go over to Decthlon's huge store off Sajrapura Road to check out bikes and accessories :D ]

Lets go down *that* road

live the life that you want to buy the high definition TV to watch on ?
be moments you catch in someone's fairy tale ?
breathe the cool mountain air that looks so cool on flickr ?
what do you wanna do ? lets go there ?
are you already in the script somebody else scripted ?
do you want to be in someone else's skin ?
which is the real you, and where will it be found ?
which is your favourite colour ? Dessert ? Sound ?
But thats just cause its cool.
acquired, borrowed taste.
an overarching sense of urgency and haste.
a busy life, a sense of purpose.
what is it you really want, what ?
high end beemer ? cruise control ?
faster download, smoother road ?
better this and more aspirational that ?
when you fly so high, oooh, it all looks flat.
or did you just catch a glimpse of what might be the other life ?
is it an escapist dream or the true self ?
what happens now, if you just give in ?
give in.
is it just a little bit the same as giving up ?
have you just tired a little of living it up ?
are you ready to face the consequences of the pursuit of the dream ?
or does the thought of "consequences" make you scream ?
free fall, high rise, take the context to a different life.
green grass, blue sky. Out of the tube, and go you, fly.
flow with it. go with it. take the risk thats not a risk.
ah what music to the heart
but will you, will I, ever ?