Happiness

What is Happiness ?

That you're loved and treasured ?

Superiority ? Status, as measured ?

Security, comfort ? Riches, glory, or fame ?

A respected, recognizable name ?

The joy of giving something your all ?

Being able to get up after you fall ?

Freedom, or even an irresponsible path !?

The courage, means and will to follow your heart ?

That you're as curious as you ever were ?

Contentment ? Or a forever hunger ?

Is it in you, or around ?

Is it lost, or is it found ?

Is it merely a lack of reasons to be not ?

Only in its absence sought ?

Is it a state ? Or in one, a pause ?

Just an effect, or as much a cause ?

Does it makes all these feel true -

The things that add up to ?

Encounters

The few times I've come across death.

Or the idea of it.

Its been about numbness.

Futility.

Randomness.

And sometimes a feeling of being totally helpless.

All the control, cause and effect, effort-reward,

Seems fake. False.

Everything is not as it seems.

Priorities get seriously relooked at.

The celebrated seems puerile.

Goals, dreams, fears all in the realm of the inane.

Unreasonable.

Life becomes about moments.

Lived, loved, smiled.

Lost, fought, regretted.

But each important.

What am I chasing ? And why ?

The journey is not important. It is all.

For it can end. Cruelly. Randomly.

Econsciousness : Updates from Around Here

The grocery store next door - SMART - has started charging folks extra for plastic bags. Just a buck each, but you do see some folks getting their own bags or refusing bags for just a couple of things they could carry home.

Also, started keeping aside plastic packaging (milk, bread, cereal, and pretty much everything else!), tetrapaks, etc in a separate container for pick-up by our cleaning crew who said they can make some extra change by selling it at the local kabaadi-wala. A lot of the organic waste already goes to the composting bin. The fill rate for the dustbin has fallen dramatically again!

A couple of more residents in our apartment complex have picked up cycling.

And a lot many are interested in the bottle-in-the-flushtank idea.

The Conscience of Things We Do(n't)

We, collectively, have a very funny conscience. We've trained it to keep it clean with the much practiced technique of not-digging-deep.

So trash put "neatly" in trash bags and picked up by staff on the premises is "well taken care of"

And an emission check actually makes us believe our vehicles are environment friendly

Water from the deep (borewells) is used just like water from easily renewable sources

And because they said its bio-degradable plastic, we can use as much of it as possible

The "re-cycle" mark on so many products makes it perfectly legitimate to chuck things in dustbins

And the colour green or the label "herbal" actually passes for the real deal

Notions of convenience, comfort, even extreme ideas about safety trump responsibility all the time, and the latter is anyhow outsourced - to service providers, manufacturers, the government. In short, "them".

So we can continue with our lives as we have gotten used to. And do as little as we can.

Experiment. Help Me Choose A Phone

I usually think of the next phone when the current one breaks, is lost, stops working, etc. But recent Android devices have caught my attention and I have been thinking. Also want to run an experiment on how the community might be able to help me decide.

Need: Replacement for my old, but perfectly alright E65

Want: Android

Budget: As low as possible, max around the 15k mark

Used/new - either's fine.

Need upgradability (why buy an Android otherwise)

Not likely to be a very heavy web user, camera doesn't matter much. Don't hear music much either.

Would like to use apps. Not that I've managed to use any so far despite a few downloads.

So. Do I need an upgrade at all ? Wait ? Buy now ? What ? Will I ever pay for pricey 3G plans ?

Have taken a peek at the Samsung Spica, HTC Tattoo, and Sony Xperia X10 Mini.

Comments, suggestions, advice, etc, please.

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Riding the TFN Again

I had done the TFN08 and TFN09, and the TFNTen has been announced.

I was wondering if I should, and if I financially could, but once the recce team got back with their pictures and description of the route, the lure of the big ride got too much to resist, and I signed up. 

Its a tougher, longer ride this year, with the first day itself being around 170km long. I think day 3 will be the most challenging - since there's a lot to do before the Gudalur-Ooty stretch starts, and then some more en-route to Kotagiri. Gotta start training seriously! 

But for this, my cycling this year was down to a few in-city rides for meeting people etc. So hopefully, the TFN will get me pedalling again.

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The government, the government

Everything is wrong because the government does nothing. 

Thats our reaction to, and way and extent of dealing with issues that we come face to face with, and having done this, continuing whatever it is we were doing earlier. 

The environment is not the government's responsibility. Its ours. We wither encourage, or let the government do certain things and so they happen. We clamour for better roads because we collectively have faster, better, more driving as a goal we've acquired from our trips to the western world, and want to see that here.

The GoI has implemented a whole lot of laws for controlling pollution, protecting forests, etc.

We - citizens - homeowners, industrial stakeholders, consumers, car drivers, etc - try our damndest to maintain status quo and not disturb things unless it has a direct positive material impact on our lives.

The BMTC has improved bus services manifold, both in terms of quantity and quality. Yet we continue forwarding one excuse or the other to avoid giving up on our perception of "convenience" in our own cars. Inertia is dearer to us than the condition of the species and the planet going forward.

We ape bad retail habits we have seen in the west merely because they seemed cool there, and we are too shy/lazy to stand out refusing plastic to put each individual vegetable purchase into before getting it weighed at our malls. Blame the government for that too ?

Sure these are small steps, but there's little hope of evolving the right collective goals, pushing the government towards real positive change, etc, from a population thats by and large content living off unsustainable behaviour for short term gains, and considering finger pointing as adequate contributiuon.

Somewhere, I fear the future will treat us with irritated scorn and incredulous disbelief for our shortsightedness.

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Fears

They play on our fears

Only because we have them

And choose let them rule us

We pray, pay and prepare

We cross the line, oftentimes

The "truths" continue to fool us

The spirit dies

Our existence is just that

Freedom is when fear's no more

The lips move, conforming

Speak of goodness and shoulds

What cost, to make us so secure ?

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Legacy

The kids need a better world.

Better broadband ?

Better digital interfaces ?

More connected online communities ?

Cooler handhelds ?

Quicker cars ?

Or cleaner air ?

Water ? (Man, this one is getting close.)

Livable cities ?

What do we leave behind ?

Plastic hills ?

Fenced, protected, expensive fresh water sources ?

Bubbles of glass inside which breathing is possible ?

Anger, despair, anxiety as the collective consciousness ?

Will they mock us ?

Curse ?

Deride our shortlived choices ?

Our escapist mechanisms to cope with threats ?

The generations that did not stand and fight and solve.

But escaped into the nether.

Created money, and used it to hide the sins.

Our lifespans are a curse, I read somewhere.

Looks like the curse is on our kids. And we're responsible.

I'm just wondering if there's a breaking point someplace and if we're all Neros.

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Rant

Dear GIMC,

Know what, I'm starting to get pissed with all the cynicism.

Let's show some spirit/character here, and stop using the shield of resignedness and hopelessness to avoid action/responsibility/effort, esp collective responsibility.

Its your job. Not your job "too", but your job. "They"/"the government"/"politicians" are not responsible for everything. You leave a vacuum, some or the other vested interest will smartly fill it up. So stop sitting on your rearsides, and stop leaving these vacuums.

Aaaaaaarghh.

Rgds,

Sameer (erstwhile member)

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Honesty

Like that cigarette packs carry warnings, and scary pictures.

Shouldn't car ads show the 2.3kgs of CO2 ?

Shouldn't "convenient" sachets and packaging show the mountains of plastic piled up everywhere ?

Shouldn't the super-floor-cleaners, and soaps, and detergents, carry "screwing-your-groundwater" signs ?

Shouldn't food mention the pesticides used ?

Its all about convenient truths or inconvenient lies. Some, we just ignore. 

Of course I do not support smoking. I'm just saying we need to apportion our horror and disgust to other equally worrying problems as well. Irrespective of how benign advertising and media messages makes them seem (esp car ads!)

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My form, and my function

The Mangalore tragedy today saddened, and also provided a moment of reflection - what if I were to go today. It can happen randomly, after all.

Biologically, at 36, am over the hill. My bit towards the continuation of the species is done. I have participated in a fair bit of economic activity, ensured at least a decent future for the family and kids, and made at least a little bit of a positive impact here and there on society. 

What remains ? What will be lost if a flight I take crashes and I join some random statistic ?

Probably my creativity. Probably boundaries unexplored. But these are unknowns, unburdensome things. So perhaps the best way to live now is freely. Each day. Each decision. As it comes. No isms, no preconceived notions. No "challenges" but mere explorations - whatever and whenever possible.

So that when it happens, there is hardly any regret, and only joy and thankfulness for whatever was possible.

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Road Widening and Homeowner Pains

The BBMP has marked 216 roads for widening.

As someone has tweeted recently, widening roads for increasing traffic is akin to loosening one's belt as a solution for obesity.

How long will this help ? Wider roads - smoother traffic for a while - encourages more to drive - back to square one! A year's benefit, at most ? The sprawl problems in city after city have proven beyond doubt that merely wider roads are no solution for traffic issues. To make people lose their homes, land, etc permanently for a short term gain is extremely duh. Especially when done by an authority which has not shown that its solutions have actually improved traffic sustainably in any part of town. the Silk Board, Bannerghata Circle, Nimhans stretch - all are as bad as ever. Traffic has a way of catching up real quick. Without demonstrating a more wholesome plan for a long term traffic management solution, its downright horrible to destroy homes etc. 

There's another point to the whole story. Even if widening work does happen, it should not be done for private transport. The extra space needs to be marked for public transport, pedestrians and cyclists. There are many stretches - Haralur Road where we live being one such - where walking is a nightmare, and there is a proposal to make it wider so vehicles can zip even faster. Its a recipe for more pedestrian fatalities in the imminent future.

My home is not impacted by this TDR mess, but I fully intend to lend my voice and support to those who're protesting this. BBMP, grow up and think of solutions. You cannot fight cancer using band aids, and certainly not band aids that help the growth of that cancer itself!

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R-oh-I

There's an ongoing debate about the need for recharge wells that we're trying to sink in our apartment complex. During this, someone threw in, "I would like to know what the ROI on this is."

This is a question thats brought into many debates - including some at my earlier jobs - as a red herring. Its often done without homework, or imagination, or creative, proactive thought. 

For instance, to continue with the case for water itself :

How valuable is water ? 10/- a litre ? How much would you be willing to pay if there weren't any ? Thats starting to happen to Bangalore! How do you calculate a number for this ? Intuitively, and with some homework about Bangalore's water situation, the answer is reasonably clear - we all need to turn producers, not just consumers of this dwindling resource, and recharge from stormwater drains is a major strategy thats part of this. It also counters a lot of the runoff losses caused by the concretization of surfaces, and its proven to be faster than shallow, surface level water recharging as is done through lakes etc. 

There's also the question of priorities. Whats the ROI on your car ? The fuel it uses ? The LED TV you've bought ? Sure, the answer is likely that its what I choose for myself and the satisfaction and happiness it provides me. But very similar to the same sentiment is the set of choices we make collectively, and the satisfaction those will provide to us collectively. There's also the responsibility that we have collectively that we should not, and increasingly, cannot shirk just because there's a Government. 

Think a little, and you'll see that the ROI question is moot.

I'd opined earlier why I thought apartment living might be unsustainable in the medium term, and now I add one more reason to it - the hardening of the consumer attitudes of our society as a whole. It's unfair to blame individuals for it, for we've moved in this direction as a whole. Our sense of entitlement, and resistance to having to do things ourselves has trounced all other attributes. We live together as a community, locality, city, state, but see ourselves more or less independently, only banding together reactively for certain causes. Go to store-pick from shelf-checkout is our sum total of actions towards living, society and the world around us. Anything else must forst prove its ROI in hard numbers.

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What Phylum Are You ?

Back in college (school, to those of you who subscribe to this strange usage from across someone else's pond) we had a euphemism for casteist leanings and biases - phylumbaazi - basically the urge/desire/need to classify, bucket, put in groups everyone you meet.

There's been some controversy over caste questions in the ongoing census (though in my personal experience, was not asked any such questions!).

Made me think about these issues, and their reduced relevance to at least a slice of our society. Our son had a similar question before him when some kids - barely 8 years old - were rather innocently figuring out their ethnicities. Shubha's a Palghat Iyer who grew up in Jharkhand. I'm apparently from Rajasthan, with our ancestoral village in the UP heartland, and grew up in Jamshedpur as well. For the last decade and a half Bangalore is home, and between the two of us we speak a little bit of Kannada, like the people, coffee and this is firmly home. We've setup a home in Coorg and might just decide to retire there someday! Like I say in jest - we have no roots and many branches. What ethnicity do the kids claim ?

I guess for the (growing) bit of the population which is in the same boat as ours, these identities and questions already have little significance. It can only be good for India. But sometimes, the others expectation of a clear response to the "where are you from" leave one a little bothered. Most of all, the government!

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Why Do I Do What I Do ?

[ Warning/Disclaimer: This post is an exercise in self-analysis/narcissism, depending on how you look at it. It if helps clear someone's thought, great.]

I'm dabbling in multiple interests right now. 

Linger kicked off the experimentation with hospitality - and there might be more happening soon. I'm enjoying the experience - there's a lot of product management, online marketing, brand building involved and the smiles on people's faces when they experience a good thing is a huge reward.

The consulting on Product Strategy and Execution continues at its own pace, with a lot of interesting conversations, numerous interesting problems to solve. There's been some good outcomes already, and the learning is very fulfilling. 

Then there's the non-career interests that keep life's spark going. There's already a serious enough effort that goes into managing one's finances and running the household amidst all this.

Most of the above are either non-remunerative, or not paying too much right now :) And it goes against the common wisdom of being focused, doing one thing with no distractions etc. Is it the right thing to do ? There are regular jobs in great Product companies and teams that are available, and lucrative. So why this ? Its not just a rhetorical question - its also what I ask myself, if just to keep the head clear each time a major offer comes along that I have to say no to!

I've kind of hypothesized that I am happier, more productive, useful and agreeable when I do multiple things. Reflecting upon my past life - its also clear I've always been that way! Its also one reason I loved the whole startup experience though it did not bring monetary rewards of any sort. As an aside, its also become very clear to me that the $$ dream is not something I can ever chase for its own sake.

The current mode of living/working (at least as long as I can sustain it) gives me a lot of freedom to push my own boundaries. I had zilch experience in hospitality, for instance - but that sort of starting point has so far worked in my favour even in the tech jobs I have done. It helps create and interact with an amazing network of people from whom I learn, understand everyday. My skills have gotten a strong real world flavour added on to them. And I am now beginning to question a few beliefs about certain things I has assumed I would never (be able) to do. 

Sure, at some point the focus on one of the multiple activities might sharpen, and the time devoted it it might increase. But as of now, I'm enjoying it all, having fun being able to do it all, and will let one pick me, rather than the other way around.

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You got 20 years more. To live, or learn.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2008/mar/01/scienceofclimatechange.climatechange

Sounds like paranoid scare-mongering ? His last round of 'predictions' would have too. But its not that tough to imagine, given the collective state of denial our species has adopted! Be it water, or energy, we refuse to challenge and relook at "life as we know it" and every little battle between convenience and effort towards making a change is lost to the former.

While its probably true that the tipping point might have been reached a while ago, but hey, we gotta try something. At the least, it'll help us adapt more to living a different life - where a lot we take for granted will not be available - easy water, boundless fuel, flights over Europe. We are already paying for the mass produced excessive lifestyle invented and marketed by the last couple of generations, and our kids and theirs will pay the most for it.

Enjoy it while you can, to whatever extent you can. Or learn to grow some food, water, and live with erratic weather real quick.

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Aviation Crutches, and Lessons From The Ash

The unpronounceable (by most) place where the unexpected volcanic eruption spews unwelcome volcanic ash is all over the news.

It scared the airlines who didn't want to lose planes, people.

It left people "stranded" all across the world, since so many could not take a flight into/out of Europe.

It lay bare the fragility of businesses that are perpetually on the edge, operationally. Not healthy!

It forced people to take boats, trains, buses, connections. Meet other people.

It generated bookfulls of stories and experiences. So many people lived a little more.

It forced people to think local in terms of food, produce.

It forced a little humility into mankinds sense of control, conceit.

I think we need a 5 day outage every year!

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The Mantri Mall : Have We Gone Nuts ?

http://www.mid-day.com/news/2010/apr/050410-traffic-Sampige-junction-BMTC-bus-stop.htm

This is incredible. First they plan, permit and actually build a gigantic Mall in the worst possible location. And then immediately throw tantrums with a sense of entitlement! They want space for a 1000 more cars, and sorry bus folks, you're not welcome here.

(click on the above pic for the Bangalore Mirror article)

The sense of priorities is so clear, and so screwed up.

We don't need parks.

Or bus stops.

We need malls.

And more parking for private cars.

So we can all drive more and more and more and more of us can do it.

So we choke the damn air with carbon.

And to hell with buses, pedestrians, cycles,

And to hell with perspective.

We need more selling, and more buying.

Damn, I might start sounding like a left-leaning bozo. But the truth is, this sense of entitlement on top of extreme short-sightedness, chasing the wrong set of goals and the blind belief in the glitz people have seen someplace without understanding the implications is beginning to get to me.

I do not expect better of Mantri and other developers, cause they'd rather do this, but all ye others who are responsible for the city, and profess love for it, whither ?

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Its probably just age

But I do not enjoy 20-20 cricket at all. A 50 over innings leaves some scope for swings of fortunes, building up an innings, strategizing, and recovering from a few bad overs. IPL has totally failed to keep me hooked, despite the odd match. Test cricket these days is very interesting too -  not that fewer teams are playing defensively.

Similarly, the whole iPad (and earlier, iPhone) wave has not caught my fancy at all. I mean - whatever. Its just a device, world, and get on woth your lives please. Nokia still makes better phones (though God knows why they're trying to play everyone else's games). And cool lasts only so long. Here we are, overburdened with info on our existing devices already. Do we really want more pain without figuring out better, easier ways to use/consume/reject this info overload at the right levels without totally losing our lives inside the maze.

Probably just getting old, huh ?

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